Why we want the hair we don’t have

Why We Want The Hair We Don’t Have
by Michael Doorey (Guest Author - FIT Major in Fragrance and Cosmetics) & Dr. Shamil.

You’ve probably heard before, “you always want what you cannot have.” This can be true for nearly everything in life whether it’s a fancy car, or someone already in a relationship. Hair is no exception to this; people often change the natural state of their hair in more than one way. It has become commonplace to bleach, dye, heat, and curl our hair using various methods. One of the most common complaints among woman, and many men too, is the natural texture of their hair. More often than not, people with curly hair want straight hair, and people with straight hair, wish to have curly hair. The reason behind this intense want is still up for debate, but here are a few reasons behind why you feel the need to change what you naturally have.

Communicating a Message

Our hair is the only part of our natural bodies that is easily malleable. Sure, you can change your body by going to the gym and changing your eating habits, but it takes a lot of time to see the change. However with hair, in minutes you have a completely different style, and given a bit more time a change in your hair can give you an entirely different look. For example, putting your messy, unwashed hair up in a bun on the weekends sends a message to others that you’re relaxed and at the moment not caring too much about your appearance. Likewise, if you’ve gone through the trouble of straightening every last curl, or meticulously curled each lock into a beachy wave, people will take notice that you’re making an effort to look nice and present yourself in a certain way. This change in style can have many benefits, too. For example, shorter hair on women, or hair clipped up in a neat bun, can offer an image of maturity and professionalism. This can be particularly helpful when searching for a job and making your way through the interview process. Similarly, styling your hair in a trendy fashion or dyeing it an unnatural color lets others know that you’re a creative type and aren’t afraid of change in life.

We Always Want What We Cannot Have 

Psychology offers an interesting explanation on why we sometimes feel the need to do something different, or outside what we already know. When there is a gap between what we know and what want to know, curiosity happens. As your curiosity builds, so does your anticipation, which eventually ends in you satisfying your curiosity. Once you satiate this curiosity you feel good, which could be due in part to both knowing now what you didn’t before, and increased dopamine levels. In translation to hair, wanting to try something new or being curious about what you don’t have naturally is completely understandable.

Finding a Balance

People tend to like things that are temperate, not extreme. For hair, this means finding a balance. For example, a person with naturally thick and curly hair, who then straightens their hair still retains some volume and lift in their hair, therefore it does not look flat and lifeless. Instead, it looks less unruly and more professional. Likewise, naturally straight hair tends to be finer and flat looking. When curled, it adds volume and texture to the hair giving it much more visual interest and “movement”. By achieving this balance, you give others the perception that you naturally have balanced hair, which can be particularly helpful when trying to attract someone of interest.


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